The Shulchan Aruch,
or Code of Jewish Law, states that all the atonement possible is ineffective if
an individual has harmed another, unless forgiveness from the victim has been
sought. If the wrong action resulted in financial loss, then adequate
restitution is required. If the offended party refuses to grant forgiveness, he
is to be approached three times. If he remains obstinate in refusing
forgiveness, and the offender sincerely regrets his behaviour, Divine
forgiveness is assured. If the victim has died, the Shulchan Aruch requires
that one take a minyan (a quorum of
ten people) and visit the burial place to publicly ask forgiveness.
Spirituality, Prayer, the Twelve Steps and Judaism, by Rabbi
Abraham J. Twerski, M.D., 1993
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